Sometimes I get this overwhelming need to get away and clear my head at that very moment, which usually means a trip to the city park. Sometimes, I just sit there a couple of minutes and then think, "Hmm. I can go home now." On the other hand, I've also been known to sit there for hours.
I've been at home, in my bed, sick for three days now. This evening I was feeling a bit better, and I felt the need to clear my head and get some fresh air. It was that fall-kind-of-gorgeous outside, so naturally, I headed to the park just in time to watch the sunset. No phone, no laptop, no books, just me and God. And my car. As I parked it, I just happened to have a great view of the sun setting over one section of my favorite park. Rather than lug out my crazy-creek and blankets (it's starting to get that fall-kind-of-cold!), I thought it might just be easier and warmer to sit in my car and watch the scene around me. After all, I was pretty tired and weak feeling...I blame the flu, right? I was sitting there in silence (a rare commodity for a music major!), thinking to myself about the awesomeness of God's artistic side. I can't tell you how many sunsets I've watched from this park and this time something felt "off." The scene around me was "pretty," but not the "beautiful" I remembered. Then I realized I was seeing it through a different "lens" this time...my windshield.
Now, let me describe my windshield- it's dirty. Like, really dirty. Dirty on the outside, dirty on the inside, and the last time I tried to clean it I just smeared all that gunk around. Grossed out yet? Me too. Maybe I should do something about that tomorrow. The point is, my windshield had this thick film on it and it was fogging my view of God's beautiful masterpiece. I realized that the world produces a similar foggy film that blocks my view of God when I allow it to.
How often do you look at God's masterpieces through the film of the world? This question really hit me hard. I often get so caught up in the world- my obligations, relationships, responsibilities, people's expectations, fitting in, etc- and I forget where my focus should be. God gave me this life and these relationships; I should not see them as this never-ending, stressful to-do list. I should keep my eyes focused on Him by making time to spend with Him and just do everything to the best of my ability with the goal of bringing Him glory. God created the world I live in and despite all of the sin and drama, it is beautiful! The trees I walk past everyday are beautiful. The family playing in the park is beautiful. The music I'm so privileged to study is beautiful. My neighbors cranking their heavy-bass rap music at 2 a.m. are beautiful. My kitty is beautiful. The relationships I have with my friends and "family" are beautiful gifts. I am beautiful. That's right- God made me in His image and I am His beautiful masterpiece. I may not be beautiful through the film of the world (I recently had a couple of girlfriends kinda bash me for my hair on a few occasions and another person told me my style was "so Plain-Jane" that I should hire a stylist before leaving my house again), but I was reminded tonight that I don't have to see myself or my surroundings through that foggy film; I can see things through the eyes of Christ, if I only remember to be still in Him.
Ashley Anne
