Accountability

At the beginning of the school year, one of my professors talked to us about the power of speaking your goals aloud. He decided to do this fitness challenge over the summer, so he told his sisters about it for accountability's sake. He wasn't doing it as a "look at me and what I'm doing" statement, but because sharing his goal with somebody made it all the more real and made him more accountable. I heard this mini-lecture twice and it stuck with me.

All summer, my battle with bi-polar disorder and an addiction to cutting had been going so well. I am more successful now than ever...and happier...and all that jazz. Then fall classes got back into full swing and, as I approached my one-year sobriety point, I started really struggling again. It doesn't really make sense to me- maybe it's just more stress, maybe it's a mind game; I've said for so long that when I FINALLY reach the one year mark, I can really say, "See ya later, cutting!" So, naturally, as my goal gets closer, Satan is going to try to once again bring me down with all he's got.

I've been openly posting my own little hashtag countdown on Facebook and I shared my struggle with my inspirational chorale at school. Last week somebody asked me why I was talking about it with the people I see everyday. The answer is simple: accountability. In the final days of this goal-reaching struggle, I knew that making it known how close I was would make it that much harder for me to fail. Accountability, even in the most mild forms (like a hashtag countdown) can help someone so much. Speaking your goals aloud makes them more real and, for me, more achievable.

I am now 3 days away from reaching one year and I know my strength comes from my Lord! Thanks for holding me accountable friends, whether you know you are doing it or not. :)

Await the celebratory blog post in 3 days....it's gonna be big. :D

In the meantime, pray I remember to Be Still in Him,

Ashley Anne