His compassions never fail.

This week I ended up dropping a class. I dropped the bomb on a whole day of classes on Wednesday. I quit my training for the half-marathon. This week I also rocked two exams and completed several projects. I've had a lot of productive practice time. I've had a few positive social encounters, which for me is a big deal. You win some, you lose some. I hate the "losing" days. I feel like a complete failure and eventually my mind spins out of control replaying the failures from my entire life. A lot of those failures make me feel terrible because they were definitely not made with a heart striving to glorify God. In those moments, my heart is distracted by something else. I eventually get my head on straight and try to re-focus my heart, but I stray away everyday. I don't always have catastrophic failures, but I do fail in some way everyday.

I have a "mirror verse" that I change periodically, just as something to see and ponder every morning while I'm getting ready for the day and something to reflect on as I'm getting ready for bed. Right now, the mirror verses are Lamentations 3: 21-24 (NIV):

Yet this I call to mind
   and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
   for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
   therefore I will wait for him.” 

I just love every word in this passage.  It has been so encouraging to my heart lately.


God's mercies are new every morning. He is faithful and His love never fails. In this, I find hope and reassurance.

The other night, while I was recovering from a "losing" day, I realized that God's mercies are new every morning because He wants to provide new compassions every morning. He doesn't have to renew His mercy and love every day. He is God and He can do whatever He pleases, you know? He chooses to forgive me and love me anew on a daily basis because He knows that I need it. He knows that I am going to fail everyday. He knows that I am going to stray from Him in some way. He knows that I am only human. After all, He made me. And He chooses to be faithful -every day- even though I do not deserve it. He loves me despite my failures. And that blows my mind. :)

Therefore, it's not a failure to rely on His new mercies every day. That doesn't make me a failure as a Christian or as a person. If anything, it makes me stronger. That's what He wants from me. He wants me to realize that I need Him every day and to depend on Him and seek Him on the "winning" and the "losing" days. 

I hope that this realization will help me when I'm trying to re-fix my eyes on Jesus after feeling like a total failure. It's not a free pass to ignore God, of course, or take His love for granted, but maybe I will not be so dang hard on myself. Maybe I will stop dwelling on my mistakes, but learn from them and continue to redirect and strive to glorify God in all I do. He deserves to be glorified. After all, this life I'm living is really His, not mine.

Be Still,
Ashley Anne