Father's Day

I used to ignore Mother's Day and Father's Day. At first I would hide all day on these occasions. I wouldn't leave my dorm room, wouldn't get on social media, nothing. I would hide from the pain I just knew I would experience if I acknowledged these holidays even existed. I eventually got over my hiding phase and just decided to live my life as if I was living any other Sunday in May/June. I would ignore the fact that everyone else was acknowledging these special occasions. Then God placed some ridiculously awesome women in my life and as I grew closer to them, I built what I like to call my "pack of mamas." I have four women I am blessed to call my "core mamas." These brave women have seen me through some of my darkest days, and I think they're going to stick around for the sunshine that's coming (it's already peeking through the clouds!). I also have plenty of "peripheral mamas" who I may not be as close to, but they have influenced me in ways they may never fully know. Over time, I began to acknowledge my new mama influences on Mother's Day and have done so for a few years now.

Everyone knows that I have hardcore "mommy issues" but not many know about my "daddy issues" because I don't like to talk about them. Someone actually told me once they felt my mother damaged me more than my father, but I honestly don't know which one I hate the most. (Yeah, I'm still working on that whole forgiveness thing...) As a woman, I've related to all these mamas much more than I've ever related to any man. However, my life has changed this past year: I've started having serious romantic relationships and that's a scary thing for a girl with my past!

I was brought up with poor male role models (that's being generous) and I was taught from the female side to have very low expectations and self-esteem. My teenage years came with a lot of bad boyfriends because of it. Then I decided to clean up my life and to do so, I temporarily stopped dating. This past year, I've been blessed to get to know two really great guys. I had a pretty serious relationship with one and I fell hard and fast for the other (but not at the same time!). Although these relationships "ended" (we're still friends), they were generally positive and healthy romantic relationships.

I think my view on men/relationships changed and my expectations were raised because through the years, God has put some ridiculously awesome men in my life as well. Some of my female mentors and role models are married to equally awesome dudes! These men have taught me things through example when they probably didn't even realize I was intently observing them. These men have shown me what it means to be Godly men, husbands, and fathers, both within their homes and in the public eye. To you, I say thank you. Thank you for teaching me that daughters are precious treasures to be cherished, held, and loved. Thank you for teaching me that wives are to be respected and adored. Thank you for showing me that there are men like you out there and that I should hold out for the man I deserve, the man God has designed especially to fill my dreams. Happy Father's Day!!! You deserve the acknowledgement.