Trust Me.

     As I was in church on Sunday, listening to my pastor's New Year's sermon about unkept resolutions, I was grinning because for two years I have successfully kept my resolutions. 2012 was my year to "Be Still." I made the resolution to daily make the choice to be still and spend some time listening to my Heavenly Father. I did a lot of talking in my very early walk and listening has changed my life. 2012 brought a growth in my relationship with the the Lord that still amazes me. Every day, I still make the effort to be still and it truly is the most refreshing, reassuring, humbling, calming, and exciting part of my life. In 2013, my resolution phrase was "Live Life." While part of 2012 was spent being still, every other waking minute, and some of the minutes I was supposed to be sleeping, were spent getting my life back on track. In 2011, I had seriously derailed from my life plan and hit total rock bottom. 2012 was spent trying to once again pursue my dreams. I spent countless hours in the library and practice rooms trying to catch up academically; I went back to being a music major after failing out and then taking some time off, resulting in 14 classes that first semester because I was so behind. I had a lot to prove to myself and to everyone who said I was making the wrong decision for my life. I made a 4.0 and got my music major skills back up to par, but it came at a price. I had no life. I lived alone and I was so focused on my studies that I didn't make many real friends. So, in 2013, after much prayer and feeling grounded in my academic success and once-familiar work ethic, I decided that I was going to take every opportunity to live life. Any chance to hang out with classmates or colleagues, an opportunity to try something new, a seminar invitation that might have previously never made my agenda, an invaluable but volunteer internship that logic said I didn't have time for, any time my kitties wanted to cuddle, was taken. I became better than ever at time management and self-care in order to live life to the max while still staying on-course for my goals and responsibilities. 

     I successfully completed two years' worth of resolutions because they were life changing mantras directed by the Holy Spirit through prayer. I had help. As I thought about this during the sermon, I realized that I had NO idea what my 2014 resolution should be. My prayer for the next several days became, "Lord, what do you want from me in the next year? Guide my path." 

     I didn't get an answer before the shiny ball dropped at midnight. I didn't even get an answer on January 1st, but I kept on praying. I know that 2014 will be an exciting year for me. If I keep working my booty off, I will FINALLY graduate with my Bachelor's degree and state teacher's licensure in May. I'm in the midst of making up 3 months worth of guitar and piano practice in 3 weeks and applying for several teacher programs and district positions while studying for my final Praxis exams and preparing for my student-teaching internship. I literally have no idea where I might be this time next year, and to this control freak, that's a pretty scary thing. The one thing I do know is that Satan has built up obstacle after obstacle and the Lord has continuously and faithfully knocked down every single one. Every. Single. One. Unfair administrative red tape, health issues, financial pits, emotional despair, every single one. So for 2014, the Lord finally whispered to me His request, "Trust Me." 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." -- Joshua 1:9

"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." -- Psalm 9:10

"But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God." -- Psalm 31:14

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." -- Proverbs 3:5-6

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." -- Jeremiah 29:11-13

And finally, my wish and my prayer for anyone else needing to trust this year: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." -- Romans 15:13

Be still and trust,

Ashley Anne